Was just listening to Radcliffe and Maconie in the kitchen, in another desperate bid to avoid the mind numbing, IQ draining banality of ITV's Britain Loves Losers, and heard some amusing white lies on their phone in. These are all along the lines of Great Lies to Tell Small Kids, which includes such gems as "When I was your age Weetabix came in eight different shapes!"

1. The man who told his children that his hair was "blown off" by a sneezing cow.
2. The father who had always refused to buy sweets at the garage because he claimed they tasted of petrol.
3. The suggestion that snooker referees only wear white gloves because the TV lights make the balls too hot to handle.
4. And the extraordinary (and possibly true) claim that Bruce Forsyth invented the potato wedge.

It's a really good show, Radcliffe and Maconie - don't really listen to it as much as I should. Good variety of quality music and always amusing banter between the two presenters.

Rip-off Britain was a government gimmick/slogan from a few years back that seemed to go very quiet. Always thought it was a bit odd, because if they insist on taxing us up to the eyeballs, it's not surprising stuff seems a bit expensive. And then, our Christmas present from N-Power arrived in the form of a £774 debit balance after six months of gas supply, caused by their inept assessment of our monthly direct debit amount, and only taking meter readings every couple of years. I couldn't load up USwitch fast enough!

In my various discussions with N-Power over the last couple of weeks, during all the helpful advice they offered about our usage level, energy efficiency, the most effective insulation, the value of submitting regular meter readings, and even the correct size of pan to use on an electric hob, did anyone - just once - suggest we might possibly be on the wrong type of tariff for our fairly high consumption? Not a chance!! (And they do have tariffs that would have saved us about £500/year.)

However, for our usage (30,000kwh gas, and 9,000kwh electric, per year) EDF's Online 5 tariff comes out a clear winner. Saving around £700 on what we're currently paying. I'm going to pay off the balance and switch tomorrow.

Here is a very much simplified summary of the new tariff from EDF: standing charge of £94/year for gas and then 2.721p per kwh, except you get a 6% discount if you pay by direct debit. Oh, and, you can deduct £8.40 annually if you go dual-fuel. Then there's the electric standing charge of £74 per year, and units at 7.46p per kwh, and you also get a 6% discount for direct debit. And don't forget you can claim 5000 nectar points for switching to them, and 30 points per quarter for loyalty, and extra for sumbitting readings, or if your average consumption drops after 12 months, and so on, and so on, until the end of time. If your surname begins with the letter T, you can join their "high-tea" promotion, in which they send you a free teabag every time you boil the kettle. And, if your birthday lands on an even day of the month, you get a 1% discount on red wine, provided you purchase it in Sainsbury's on a Wednesday, and the total number of items in your basket exceeds your average number of units of electricity consumed over the previous seven days.

Great! So, where do I sign?

I presume that mobile phone companies and utility companies must have teams of highly paid sado-masochists, who sit in darkened rooms and dream up the most confusing and frustrating tariffs the world has ever known. I have an idea myself, based on the Fibonacci number series and the number of days in the current calendar month that happen to be prime numbers. I'd explain it here, but I suspect it may be worth too much.

Check out uswitch.com now! There are many others, but I get the impression they're all querying the same database. Some of them even have links to exactly the same user feedback and the only difference is the branding in the page header. Strike a blow against rip-off Britain!

Just stumbled across the following quote from Ed Miliband - whilst wondering about the pros and cons of electricity "Smart Meters". From the article Smart energy meters in every UK home by 2020 on the Guardian website.

"The meters most of us have in our homes were designed for a different age, before climate change," said Ed Miliband, the energy and climate change secretary. "Now we need to get smarter with our energy ... so it's important we design a system that brings best value to everyone involved."

Not quite sure when "the age before climate change" occurred. Presumably he's referring to the time 4.3 billion years ago prior to the formation of planet Earth. Still a bit apprehensive of smart meters, as the ultimate objective is presumably to introduce ever more sophisticated snooping on personal energy use, up to the point where they decide you've exceeded your allocated carbon footprint and your lights automatically switch off until you send all your money to Al Gore...

Found this, which will literally provide hours of entertainment. George W Bush modelled in ragdoll physics. You can choose to let gravity take its course, or grab him with your mouse and send him hurtling across the sky. If it had sound effects (think Homer falling down the cliff in the "Bart the Daredevil" episode) it would be perfect! If you want to see it full screen, view page source, look for the 4424.swf URL, and enter it directly into your browser address. Ran a bit slow at 1920x1200, but might be worth it!

Ragdoll Physics 2

Look at the glazed facial expression and you can only find this gets funnier with every viewing.